Tuesday, August 21, 2012

We've moved!

Well, not really. But bring on the home-warming potted plants anyway, because I've started a new blog!

From now on, you can find me here. I don't know whether to delete this blog or keep it up, but for the time being, I'll leave it so everyone (A.K.A. the like two people that ever actually visit this blog) will know where to find me.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Hello, August.

Sometimes, even when you've been headed on the right track for a long time, you need one final push to get you to where you need to be. For me, that push was a somewhat terrifying experience, but fear is the best motivator; fear opens your eyes to the truth.

And the truth can hurt, too. It can go against all that you've been insisting upon and surrounding yourself with for a year. It can scream for you to change everything.

So hello, August. This month will be for fresh beginnings, early mornings and regaining trust. For solitary walks on the beach, bike rides, and sketching. For film photography and dark chocolate and dinners with the best of friends. For complimenting strangers and filling notebooks with musings. For reading good books and discovering poetry and overdosing on music. For tennis and jogging and coffee dates with my grandma. For knowing that the most difficult path is also the most rewarding. For living without anything holding me back.

There are some things in life that, as breathtaking as they may be, can set your priorities out of whack. Things that halt your progress, freeze you in moments in time. You can stand there and enjoy the whimsical, warped, wonderful view, or you can break free and keep moving. I choose the latter, as difficult as it has been to walk away from something that has opened so many doors in my mind. I regret nothing that I have done, because all of it has taught me many invaluable lessons. But I've learned them, and it's time to move on.

I don't know where I'm headed, but the journey feels right. In a society that stands still, I consider myself lucky to be so open to change. I can't see my future, and I'm not particularly concerned with that fact. Nothing seems so important and magical as this moment in time.

I can't promise I'll be keeping up with this blog in the future; my time in this lovely corner of the Internet may have run its course. I enjoy it, but perhaps blogging isn't for me. At least not in this phase of life. I'm sure I'll be back with the occasional update, to share some artwork or some thoughts. But in the mean time, I hope everyone reading this has the courage to open their eyes to the truth and change their lives for the better. Because, really, nothing is worth sacrificing true happiness.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

The smell before rain.

Lately my life has been very cyclical; periods of happiness, calm and productivity slowly melt into tiring yet satisfying busy days, which in turn begin to eat away at my perseverance until I'm completely overwhelmed. I'm not complaining; having a few bad days once a month is worlds better than a never-ending depressive slump. However, I've had to discover better stress-releases and coping mechanisms to keep myself afloat on those days where I'd rather just stay in bed. For me, the most important thing is never to give in to the darkness of depression again, so even when I feel I can't go on, I must.

One of these coping mechanisms is to drop everything, dress myself in feelings and run outside to take pictures. Yesterday was a particularly stressful and tiring day at camp, with temperatures peaking 100 degrees fahrenheit before a massive thunderstorm, and a number of personal issues cast a dark shadow on my day. I finally dropped everything, grabbed my vest and bandana, smudged some makeup on and dashed out into the post-rain world with my camera and tripod. The overcast sunset lighting was perfect, and the water reflecting off the driveway was calling my name. Half an hour later I trudged back inside, soaking wet, but it was more than worth it. The photos came out beautifully (see more on my Flickr), and after endeavoring on a self-photoshoot with a dying camera, I was able to look upon my feelings and concerns with a clearer, calmer head.

Photography is so freeing in that it urges you to step out of your comfort zone and do things you wouldn't normally do. For what other reason would I find myself sitting on the driveway after a rainstorm? And yet, the simple act of laying there under cloudy skies, with water soaking through my skin, could not have been more calming. (It reminds me of a quote by Bob Marley; "Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.") Sometimes, all we need is to stop for five minutes and think of nothing but the moment we are in, the ground we are stepping on, the sky above our heads. If I were not a photographer, I would most likely not experience these solitary moments of peace and calm. Nor would I see the beauty in a small yellow leaf on the side of the road or the way the light hits the folds of a blanket. Photography has caused me to move mountains to create beauty, and trained my eye to find it in the strangest of places. Perhaps it won't be my path in life, but I shall certainly never forget the lessons it has taught me, nor lose my passion for the little details that make a good life great.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

{lately; an abundance of summer}


Lately I've explored...
abandoned houses in the middle of the woods with my friend Karsch! It felt like we were those stupid people walking into the haunted house. So spooky, but thoroughly intriguing. Everything on the inside and all the doors and windows were smashed, but the structure was totally intact. Monster movie set? I think so.

I've seen...
my South-African friend Gabi for the first time in a year! She was visiting New York on holiday, and since I live so close to NYC, I was able to meet up with her and show her around a bit! This photo of us was taken on the top of the Rockefeller tower. In the background you will see the Empire State building!

I've discovered...
that my hair kinda-sorta-maybe goes into a ponytail. Get excited.

I've had...
a party with my closest friends. More on this to come; I have a plethora of amusing photos to share. In this shot, we're laying about in the bounce house that my family owns and keeps in our garage. I know. We own a bounce house. Best thing ever.

I've laughed with...
Russell, a co-counselor of mine at ecology camp on a local reservation. He dressed up as the Leatherman (local legend/real hobo from the 1880s) and hiked up to surprise our nine-year-old campers as we finished telling them the Leatherman's story. I'll probably spend a post talking about this camp at a later date, especially because it's taking up so much of my time lately!

Due to my spending the majority of my days this month trekking through the woods with a mob of boisterous, adorable children, posts will be sparser until July is over. I'll definitely attempt to write posts in advance and set them on a schedule, though.

☀ {lately has been full of laughter, sunshine, and adventure} ☀